words from e's dad

argentina

Andree here again, and again just for a moment.  Dad sent a little something this morning:
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Erik, my son………
I can only imagine you wandering the universe and being amazed at the wonders you see. All I can say is….save some of it for me when we meet again! Until then, my wonderful boy…..
Love,
Dad

ten: words from e's mom

Andree here, but only for a moment.  It's been one decade now since E left for his biggest adventure.  His mom - our mom (in order: me, Sean, Erik, Brynn, Hans) - has something to say to him.
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Andree expresses her thoughts and our thoughts so beautifully --- I want to do as well as I struggle to write about these ten years without Erik. Ten years --- that seem like yesterday and forever. When you are told that the sadness will get easier --- that is a nice thought, but not necessarily true. Fortunately our family is not reticent to keep Erik alive in our thoughts and conversations. I consult him regularly when I am problem solving. I often see something that I think he would like and I am about to get it for him or think to tell him about it when reality crashes down.

 Erik lived his life with gusto. Being with Erik was seemingly never dull and often challenging --- just trying to keep up. Once when I was not enthused about a coming holiday and I was lamenting the effort in front of me --- Erik said plainly, "If you don't make it special it won't be special." Time with the ones you love is so precious, I always want to remember to make that time special.

 I loved standing beside him in his kitchen as he and Nancy prepared a feast. Gatherings at their house were always fun --- with wonderful food. Sometimes interesting food --- lavender infused beef for the fire-pit was not one of his better ideas and was not repeated. That's not bad --- in the years of the fire-pit having only one not-so-good.

 I recite the ten affirmations created by Erik and Hans every day. I think these were originally guidelines for business --- but they are certainly appropriate for life in general:

The value of time.
The success of perseverance.
The dignity of simplicity.
The worth of character.
The power of kindness.
The influence of example.
The obligation of duty.
The wisdom of economy.
The virtue of practice.
The improvement of talent.

And --- I hope that by keeping these thoughts in my brain I am a better me.

Simply put: Erik you are loved and missed and with us always. We speak of you often because that is how we keep you in our lives --- and, of course, remembering to add some gusto as you would.

Mom

in which i am struck by a similarity

(Andrée here.) Similarity between these three guys? Well, there IS some - you can tell a Purdom man a mile off, I think. (Helpful note in case you're new here: these are my three brothers. L to R: Hans, Sean, Erik. Not in order of origin.)

That's not where I was heading today. I've been reading a little of the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, thinking I can always stand to bolster my stoicism. Imagine my surprise to find him musing upon his brother in ways I recognize well from being around Erik:


...From my brother Severus, to love my kin, and to love truth, and to love justice; . . . I learned from him also consistency and undeviating steadiness in my regard for philosophy; and a disposition to do good, and to give to others readily, and to cherish good hopes, and to believe that I am loved by my friends; and in him I observed . . . that his friends had no need to conjecture what he wished or did not wish, but it was quite plain....


Doesn't that sound like E? And what an odd, random comfort to find in the words of a long-dead Stoic philosopher a vivid feeling of my brother's ways and values. Yet another way to find him at my shoulder. As we go forward into 2018 I hope you too cherish good hopes and the love of your friends.