giving thanks: dean steps up

Happy late Thanksgiving weekend, everyone.  Andree here, but I'll pass it over to Dean, who was thinking of all the things Erik gave him . . .
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On this Thanksgiving, I'd like to thank my good good friend Erik for some things I never got to thank him for in person. He ain't around here no more, but he's around. I sure do miss that funny f****r.
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• Thanks for passing on your 7 paths of awesomeness. Everything i do now is filtered in one way or another by them.
• Thank you for going up and speaking first at my celebrity roast!
• Thanks for believing some of my impossible ideas and helping make them come true.
• Thanks for introducing me to The D!
• Thank you for farting directly into my ear. Thanks a lot. With no pants on.
• Thanks for valuing my opinion and making it easy to deal with difficult shit. That is something I miss a lot.
• Thanks for taking me to the nurse over your shoulder when I accidentally slit my throat in Print class.
• Thank you for letting me proofread your horrible f*cking handwriting.
• Thanks for trying to catch my car keys flying through the air behind me that were actually snot.
• Thanks for that crappy cassette tape drawer, the first thing you ever got me for Christmas. I still have it.
• I also now appreciate the value of Cumin more than ever, thanks!
• Thanks for not telling anyone about that one thing you pulled off my shoulder. Sheesh.
• Thanks to you, I knew about Krispy Kreme, Dr. Hoggly Woggly's, and Abe's… years before anyone up north.
• You were the first one to come visit me after I crashed into that horse, thanks man.
• Thanks for being the only one I'd trust to crack my thoraxicals. Hasn't been right since.
• One time, Erik helped me fake a stomach ailment to leave work early for a date, and even took pics of us after driving me to the ER. Thanks, Buddy!
• and Thanks for the Shoes! I'll be wearing them 100 yrs from now!

Listen to me.
Even if it has been decades since you talked to them, go out now, and thank the people you should, before you can't.

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(Andree says) He's right, of course.  

2012..."only a curtain"

Hi, everyone.  Andree here.  This is a photo of Erik at Lyric's birthday party in 2008.
Four years have gone by.  They have brought sadness and consolation to each of us in whichever way we are built to bear and find them.  Some of us carried it with particular sweetness and beauty - I'm looking at you, my sister Brynn - and some of us carried it with white-hot rage and desolation (well, actually, that was just me).  Whomever we are, whatever we have felt and still feel, I found words this morning that I hope will lift your heart as they have lifted mine.  They are from the holy poet Rumi, who built an entire earth and heaven from the exchange of love.  Here is a selection from his "Ghazal #911," in which Rumi tells us that a grave is "only a curtain for the paradise behind," and continues,

. . . you'll only see me descending into a grave 

now watch me rise 

how can there be an end 

when the sun sets or the moon goes down. . . 

have you ever seen a seed fallen to earth 

not rise with a new life 

why should you doubt the rise 

of a seed named human 

have you ever seen a bucket lowered into a well 

coming back empty 

why lament for a soul when it can come back 

like Joseph from the well 

when for the last time you close your mouth 

your words and soul 

will belong to the world 

of no place no time

* * *

And in that world, as Rumi knew well, there is lots of room for all of us, and time for many talks, many dances, many parties.  I think of Erik charging around there, unstoppable.  And I hope, and I work, toward becoming worthy of joining in.  

This post is written with all the love at my command to all of you out there today.

in the woods

(Andree here) Dad's birthday was this past week, and he wanted a little quiet cookout up at Buncombe Hollow.  The weather was kind enough not to rain on us, so we grilled a pile of assorted meat and hung out in the woods.
The standing stones up in the circle have a bit of moss on them now, not much, but enough to make you realize that time has passed and living things grow.  Lyric and Jaeger are very tall these days - well, that's going to continue, of course - and there's a circle of ferns, getting ready to grow lush, surrounding the stones.  We say, "I wish Erik was here."  But stop and look around you at everything he made happen or that you remember, and there he is.

royalty

Andree here. Sean found this...do I spy Miss Julie Von Holt as well? What year is it here, and what's going on?
And that face says it all.
**Edit 8/14/2012 - Look at this email from July that I just found!
Hi, first of all my name is Celeste Aaby (previously Dhanens). Erik and I were friends in high school, I was so sad to hear about his death. I just wanted to give you a little information on the picture that was posted on the website. It is the 1984 prom court. Sadly I don’t remember everyone, but the back row left is Darin Aaby (my brother–in-law), I’m in front of him, then Julie VanHolt and Carla (don’t remember her last name). I was really surprised to see myself on the site. Those were really fun days and Erik was a big part of it.
**
Celeste, thank you so much.  It brings those days back a little bit and that's a huge pleasure.

happy birthday e, from sean

Andree here. It's a new year, a new time for hopes and plans. We look forward to the friends we'll meet and the fresh things we'll see and do. And we look back at the friends we miss, feeling sad and happy, rueing the lost days, but grateful to have the memories. It's those memories that teach us what and how to love, and how to get better at friendship as the days and years go by.

So you know who I'm thinking about today. I know you are too. Memories of E: of generosity, excitement, curiosity, kindness.

But brother Sean will tell you this better than I can. So I turn it over to him. . .

* * *Dear Erik, Well brother, you would have been 46 years old today.Just another age milestone in life..of course, you never cared about that. I hope that this note finds you well on the other side. I am sure that you are looking down on us, wondering what all the fuss is about. Someday, we will all be together. Meantime, I am doing the best I can do to make my mark on this world. Leave some kind of legacy..like you did. Whether I do or not, is not important. What is important is that I live the way you did...with integrity. Thanks for leaving us with that example. I have a very good friend that joined you this week. Please watch out for her, show her the way.Happy birthday, my brother..I miss you. Your Big Brother, Sean