Life finds a way; also, Andy updated the movie link

 Hello everyone, Andrée here again.  It's been a while, yes.

Andy C reached out to me to let me know he's updated the Erik Rising link.  Look up in the right hand corner for that.

Possibly try here.

And meanwhile - holy mackerel, are those kids grown up. There's Jaeger (pretty obvious which one he is) with 2 buddies accepting scholarships at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.  Jaeger recently told me about Baxter Dury, the son of the legendary Ian Dury; Baxter is a genius of a musician too, and now I've got him on repeat repeat repeat. (Try "Shadow" and "Celebrate Me.")  Auntie is duly schooled.

Sweet, gentle Lyric, smart as a whip, fearless and innovative writer, sees and loves all the strange beautiful details of this world around us. And where d'you think she got that? 

I guarantee you somewhere right now Erik is SO damn proud.  

We sure are.

xox

twelve

 Andree here.  I'll be brief today, but I wanted to be sure to reach out to those of you checking in.  So far everyone in the extended family remains well, and we hope that very same for all of you, with love.

So, random note: in the course of my time with a local bookshop, I've become really beguiled by First Peoples poetry.  I particularly like that of the Pacific NW tribes, because it's immediate, and punchy.  And for some crazy reason it makes me think of E.  But this morning in my rush I can't locate any of my Haida or Tlingit favorites.

What I do have is this simple "Woman's Song" from the Blackfoot tribe (not PNW by a longshot):

Do not worry about me

I shall be eating berries on my way home.

And my mind's eye sees E, strolling "home," eating blackberries. 

two oh two oh

sean found this a couple weeks ago

 

Andree here.  Happy New Year 2020 to you all!  And if you're here, you'll understand when I say Happy E Day - he would have been 54.  I don't remember how old he and Eugene Holyk (and please, can anyone identify #3?) are here. 

There are many reasons to be happy.  The family had a particularly fine one this Christmas - E's son Jaeger visited!  Kid is TALL.  Also handsome.  Neither will surprise you.  Lyric is in college.  That happened fast.

But then it all happens fast, doesn't it? No matter.  Let time buffer griefs, and bring possibilities and joy, while we're here.  We'll all be back together on our favorite decks someday.

wanting to fly

found on the internet; will take down if objections from originator

(Andree here.) This image was titled "Baby Bat wants to fly!" It's a vintage Japanese netsuke with the sweetest of faces, and it reminds me of the love with which many of us got bat tattoos after Erik left.  I just found out that Iman and her daughter with David Bowie got commemorative tattoos (though not bats) last year, and since we're all longtime big Bowie fans (as was Erik) I love that great minds think alike.  If you're interested, there's a lovely article about Iman and Lexi's tattoos and memories here.
E, you always had such a pure, kind curiosity about everything. . . this little guy makes me think of your face when you were looking at something new that you liked.

words from e's dad

argentina

Andree here again, and again just for a moment.  Dad sent a little something this morning:
***
Erik, my son………
I can only imagine you wandering the universe and being amazed at the wonders you see. All I can say is….save some of it for me when we meet again! Until then, my wonderful boy…..
Love,
Dad

ten: words from e's mom

Andree here, but only for a moment.  It's been one decade now since E left for his biggest adventure.  His mom - our mom (in order: me, Sean, Erik, Brynn, Hans) - has something to say to him.
* * *
Andree expresses her thoughts and our thoughts so beautifully --- I want to do as well as I struggle to write about these ten years without Erik. Ten years --- that seem like yesterday and forever. When you are told that the sadness will get easier --- that is a nice thought, but not necessarily true. Fortunately our family is not reticent to keep Erik alive in our thoughts and conversations. I consult him regularly when I am problem solving. I often see something that I think he would like and I am about to get it for him or think to tell him about it when reality crashes down.

 Erik lived his life with gusto. Being with Erik was seemingly never dull and often challenging --- just trying to keep up. Once when I was not enthused about a coming holiday and I was lamenting the effort in front of me --- Erik said plainly, "If you don't make it special it won't be special." Time with the ones you love is so precious, I always want to remember to make that time special.

 I loved standing beside him in his kitchen as he and Nancy prepared a feast. Gatherings at their house were always fun --- with wonderful food. Sometimes interesting food --- lavender infused beef for the fire-pit was not one of his better ideas and was not repeated. That's not bad --- in the years of the fire-pit having only one not-so-good.

 I recite the ten affirmations created by Erik and Hans every day. I think these were originally guidelines for business --- but they are certainly appropriate for life in general:

The value of time.
The success of perseverance.
The dignity of simplicity.
The worth of character.
The power of kindness.
The influence of example.
The obligation of duty.
The wisdom of economy.
The virtue of practice.
The improvement of talent.

And --- I hope that by keeping these thoughts in my brain I am a better me.

Simply put: Erik you are loved and missed and with us always. We speak of you often because that is how we keep you in our lives --- and, of course, remembering to add some gusto as you would.

Mom

in which i am struck by a similarity

(Andrée here.) Similarity between these three guys? Well, there IS some - you can tell a Purdom man a mile off, I think. (Helpful note in case you're new here: these are my three brothers. L to R: Hans, Sean, Erik. Not in order of origin.)

That's not where I was heading today. I've been reading a little of the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, thinking I can always stand to bolster my stoicism. Imagine my surprise to find him musing upon his brother in ways I recognize well from being around Erik:


...From my brother Severus, to love my kin, and to love truth, and to love justice; . . . I learned from him also consistency and undeviating steadiness in my regard for philosophy; and a disposition to do good, and to give to others readily, and to cherish good hopes, and to believe that I am loved by my friends; and in him I observed . . . that his friends had no need to conjecture what he wished or did not wish, but it was quite plain....


Doesn't that sound like E? And what an odd, random comfort to find in the words of a long-dead Stoic philosopher a vivid feeling of my brother's ways and values. Yet another way to find him at my shoulder. As we go forward into 2018 I hope you too cherish good hopes and the love of your friends.

good traveling weather: nine

Hey everybody - Andree here.
It's been nine years today since E took off for the other shore.  I don't know about you guys, but I still miss him in a very immediate fashion - that is, I keep wanting to tell him things, show him things.
He's a little farther away than a phone call now.  But I call on his presence often when I have something I want to share with him.  In fact, yesterday I ran away to Seattle to visit the Henry Art Gallery.  There I stopped a while in the Skyspace by James Turrell, on a quiet overcast day, faced with the infinite possibilities of the life remaining and the life to come. 
I felt E very near.
As if - if I were to squint sideways - he'd be spacebombing me just like in the photo.

It is a desperate hurt to have lost him.  But the remedy to it lies in all of us. We bear it together, and we continue to soothe and enjoy the mess and the wonder of our lives together here.  And we keep before our eyes the fine adventures yet to had, when we pile into another house very far indeed from here, and hear E's voice say "Hey."

raise your glass

Andrée here with a picture saying a thousand words -
words like "still missing E" and "hope" and "celebrate."  Raise your glass to Erik, to everyone you miss, everyone you love.
Raise it also to yourself.
Happy 2017.

eight

this was from art

The sky
Is a suspended blue ocean.
The stars are the fish
That swim.

The planets are the white whales
I sometimes hitch a ride on,

And the sun and all light
Have forever fused themselves
Into my heart and upon my skin.

There is only one rule
On this Wild Playground,

For every sign Hafiz has ever seen
Reads the same.

They all say,
"Have fun, my dear; my dear, have fun,
In the Beloved's Divine
Game,

O, in the Beloved's
Wonderful Game."
--
"A Suspended Blue Ocean," Hafiz

 

 

(Andree here.) Today marks eight years since Erik flew away to be a bigger part of the Wonderful Game.  (Someday I plan to ask him what happened when David Bowie and Prince showed up.)

While I was thinking about those eight years, and all the directions the world has spun in the meantime, I was reminded that the number eight on its side is the infinity symbol - right, right. How many infinities?  All the ways we have each missed him, all the depths and colors of our sorrows; all the things that have changed in each of us as a result; all the hopes, plans, joys we've each cautiously built in the wake, knowing now (if we didn't before) how very precious it is to have them. 

It still seems to me as though E left yesterday, and I won't lie to you: I'm not over that, nor do I expect to be in this lifetime.  But I know E, and I know he was all about the plans, the fun of good work, the joy. 

So today I'm going to ask you about your own joys, and I look forward to the happiness of hearing about your own glimpses of the Wonderful Game - glimpses that bring you closer to E.

xox